When training and life collide...

Before we get started, an explanation of the pictures: after you read this you'll understand that neither Chima or I were in an emotional place where pictures would have been appreciated. So instead I'm resharing a few photos of Chima being social as a reminder of how far she's come over the last five weeks. 

Sniffing someone at the meetup and hoping for a treat

Yesterday I took Chima in to have her nails trimmed. They were getting really long and starting to turn her toes a bit and so it had to get done. It was a health issue. I usually trim all my dogs' nails but I've been working so hard to gain Chima's trust and while she will let me touch her feet and was getting comfortable with the nail trimmer, holding her to get even 1 or 2 nails cut wasn't happening. 

Last week when I took both girls to the vet to be microchipped, Salinas did fine having her nails trimmed. But after 2 nails Chima started throwing all 25 pounds of herself around in panic and the vet tech said she didn't feel right forcing her when she was so terrified. I totally agreed with her. So the vet suggested a med cocktail to relax Chima both physically and mentally - both some Acepromazine and Xanax. While I really don't like using Ace, I figured it was worth a try since I was getting nowhere fast at home with even getting one nail trimmed. But damn, I was conflicted. All of my work with her has been about not pushing a timeline on her and yet here was this physical issue that has a timeline. Nails grow and need to get trimmed. They don't wait for the dog to get comfortable having their feet handled and their body confined.

Maybe not in the middle of things but sniffing the edge with interest.

So yesterday was the day. I gave her the meds two hours prior to the appointment and when it was almost time to leave she was tearing around like I hadn't given her anything. The vet said to push back the appointment thirty minutes in case it just was slower to start acting on Chima. Sure enough, I started to see some clumsiness in her movement. But instead of calming down, she was afraid - this girl who was all about having control of herself could sense that control leaving her. God, I felt horrible. I could really empathize with that panicked feel of losing control of one's body. I felt like a horrible person to have knowingly done this to her. Regardless, I packed her up in her car crate and off we went.

The last visit I had not wanted to be in the room when they clipped her nails since I didn't want her to associate me with the trim. I thought she would connect me with  the scary thing and it would damage her trust in me. Now I see that was wrong. This time I figured if I stayed that at least there would be one person in the room who she new and had some connection to. If she connected me with the fear, then we'd work through it but I hoped that I could offer some comfort to her.

Resting her head on my knee since she knows I have a pocket full of kibble

The tech came in and I held Chima against me and slowly, a couple nails at a time with breaks in between, we got it done. Chima surprised me and instead of her typical avoidance of touch she did the opposite - she buried her head under my arm and pushed herself against my body, trying to make the room and the stranger disappear. I like to think I was a comfort to her. Never once during the ordeal did she growl or even curl her lip at us - that's how amazing this dog is. Not that I would have blamed her in the least if she did since that's just the way a dog communicates they want something to stop.

I took her out to the car after it was over, going out the back way to avoid any more new people and animals. She jumped for her crate - a place of safety, and I gave her a freeze dried tendon to chew on while I went back in to pay the bill. It took her about 5 minutes of the drive home to finish the tendon and then she started this most heart rending forlorn howl that you have ever heard. It went on for the rest of the 20 minute drive and I cried along with her, horrified to have caused her such distress and momentarily feeling frustrated with myself for not being able to magically make things all better for her. How could I help her when a nail trim was this scary?

At the right of photo: meeting another foster parent and taking treats

At home she slept off the last of her drugs in the crate and by early evening she was back to her old self, tearing around the back yard, sniffing out squirrels, attempting to free a very large root from were it laid on the ground still attached to the tree... being beautiful and adorable and fully terrier. 

Then she gave me a big gift. While I was sitting on the steps she came over hoping for a treat and let me rub behind her ear and stroke her back without any tensing up in trade for a few bites of puppy kibble. No steps backward. No loss of trust. I was still her trusty old kibble dispenser which is exactly what I want to be right now. Thanks, Chima.

Playing a game of tail teaser/tug with me